A Spirited Rebellion from Daily Obedience

It’s 12:36 am, and I can’t sleep. Why? The hall clamors with high pitched giggles and squeals. Plebes being plebes. Loud feet trample by my door as I hear them move in packs of ten to twelve, pulling pranks on the upperclass that have wronged them this semester. I lock my door, just to be safe. It’s Army week.

Navy Football plays Army this Saturday. If you’ve never heard of it, Army week involves 5 days of pranks, spirit missions, and general BEAT ARMY antics to prepare for one of the most anticipated events of the year. The plebes have memorized the date of the game since they arrived Plebe Summer, reporting it every time they are asked how many days until we “BEAT ARMY!”

It’s a time of plebe freedom. Plebe duties, such as chopping, sounding off, rates, and abstinence of media all fall to the bilges. Plebes merely tape “BEAT ARMY, SIR!” to their shoes, and they can walk in the P-way. If asked the menu for noon meal, they don’t have to answer — they just yell, “BEAT ARMY, SIR!” It’s a spirited rebellion from daily obedience. Probably the most cherished privilege of Army week is the ability to watch movies, listen to music, and not have to hide the headphones whenever upperclass walk by (ya, I’m not blind — I’ve seen you try to hide those earbuds, PLEBES!)

It’s also a time of Brigade Spirit, but mostly it’s a time for the plebes to let loose their inner chimpanzee. What some call Spirit Missions, others call pranks. Sometimes they are clever, but mostly they’re just gross. The fun Spirit Missions that everyone enjoy involve clever forethought and clean execution,  true missions. These missions can range from putting a company officer’s desk, chair, and computer in the wardroom to playing a Spice Girls song on the loud speakers during noon meal formation.

Here’s an example of a good mission. These mids put up this banner in front of the Commandant’s house during the middle of the night. I’m sure Captain Klunder will appreciate this one. The banner reads, “The Forecast for Army Navy is 100% Chance of Lightning and Klunder!”

Other activities have no resemblance to anything clever or thoughtful. They’re purely destructive. At around 12:30 am, (they think they’re rebellious for staying up past midnight,) twenty plebes from another company run through our halls and yell like apes, spraying ketchup, syrup, and shaving cream all over our deck and walls. Powered only by adrenalin, (they don’t have the courage otherwise,) the intruders run too fast to even notice what they’re doing. Too bad for them, they don’t see we’re waiting. The same dumb prank two nights in a row deserves a spot in the hall of shame. Our plebes ambush the raiders, decisively owning them physically. We force our captives to clean the mess they have created. Thirty seconds of hooping and hollering for an hour of cleaning in the middle of the night. Satisfied?

Some “pranks” are so terrible I cannot mention them here — stunts worthy of separation from the academy. Was it really worth it? What do you tell your grandmother when she asks why you aren’t at USNA anymore?

But let’s not get too harsh on the plebes just yet. They deserve a break from the monotony. Forced since July to have fewer liberties than a middle schooler in the former USSR, we can expect them to go a bit nuts-o at this exciting opportunity. I remember Army Week my plebe year. I watched youtube videos until 2 am. After that I threw some water balloons at people sneaking up the stairwell (we had such a good position, too!) I giggled. I pumped my fists in the air after scoring a hit. I yelled like a crazy kid. It was Army Week!

My perspective now, as an upperclass, varies significantly from what it was just two years ago. Back then, I wanted trouble — I searched for mischief. Now, I lock my door at 11:30 and hope to get to sleep. Then, I exclaimed in excited disbelief as my squad leader told me all of the rules I could disobey for the week. Now, I chuckle as I see my plebes’ eyes dart from side to side at meal, looking for a possible prank. As parents during Christmas watch their kids turn giddy at the sight of presents under the tree, so too do upperclass watch on as their plebes’ faces break into goofy grins and childish giggles.

Santa may not exist, but don’t tell them that. They’re having so much fun.

When you watch the Army Navy game this Saturday (noon, eastern time) on CBS, remember what the mids have gone through to get to this game. And always remember…

GO NAVY BEAT ARMY!!!